March 19, 2007

Tea and crackers

I'm having one of those pensive moments right now. It's hard not to though to be honest, as I'm sat at my desk in the River House with the wind howling over the roof and the rain lashing against the window right in front of me. There's something totally mesmerizing about watching the rain on the windows.

I had a similar experience as I drove back to Worcester late last night, the roads were clear with hardly a car in sight but the strangest thing was the sensation that I was hardly moving at all as the snow drove headlong into me. I couldn't help but have my eyes drawn to the bright white flakes, illuminated by my headlights as they raced towards me.

I finally turned 30 yesterday, an age that only seems like yesterday I viewed from a long way away, thinking that I'd get there at some point far into the future. However, that was about as far as my foresight went, I never imagined myself past 30. Not that I ever made plans and said to myself by this age I want to have done this, or have been there or have that, but I did have this notion of where my life would be. Call it a kind of acceptance or assumption. Looking back on that now, I couldn't be any further from that if I tried, which brings light to a saying I have about assumption being the mother of all **** ups.

I'm not saying that where I am now is a bad thing at all, just not where I imagined I would be. As for seeing past 30, I've added a few years onto that, but not any further right now as there's certainly no room for assumption. The notion? Well that's still there, waiting in the wings covered in a lot of dust.